The continuing saga of the smelly table

The beginning of this saga was me not wanting to talk about it. You can read that here.

Now, since there is more to add, I will tell the entire story.

The table is question is red and has yellow legs. The legs are attached to the table with screws and such mechanism. When fixing the table together it was obviously important to make sure that one placed the ‘gap’ in the table leg over the ‘ridge’ in the bracket linking it to the table.

This had not been done. Instead, the ‘gap’ had been placed facing outwards. This led to two issues – first, there was a gap, second, this gap was mad bigger by the fact that the ‘ridge’ which should have fitted into the ‘gap’ was now pushing against a straight plastic bit which had no space for a ‘ridge’.

This increased ‘gap’ in the table leg meant that whenever was spilled from the table such as milk, water, cereal, other food products, etc, they all went down into the table leg. Where they formed an icky smelling gunk which over time made the table smell.

Today, we removed all four table legs, cleaned them and then tried to fix the legs to the correct sides of the table.

Unfortunately, only three of the legs corresponded correctly to the ‘gap’/’ridge’ principal.

So, I went on a hunt for our missing table leg, and found it, attached to another table, in another room. I removed it and found that it contained a few dead spiders, some raisins, bits of biscuit and some glitter. After, cleaning, it is now proudly attached to it’s table and hopefully my table leg smelling issues are over!

What have I learnt from this table saga?

Well, sometimes, a smelly table leg is a symptom of something larger than just gunk in a table leg. Sometimes, it’s proof that the whole table is messed up!


Too Muddy to Shower

I have just gotten back from the Greenbelt Festival. A good time was had by all!

Some people may have considered it slightly damp, ‘damp’ may be an understatement.

Here is a picture of the outfit I thought was appropriate for the weather.

Here is a picture of my losing my foot in the mud.




Some people had a lot more fun in the mud than I did. I merely walked in it, others played some football which was more sliding around than anything else, others forgot pretence and just went jumping/sliding/rolling in the mud. (This was Greenbelt, after all, the mud formed a Holy Swamp).

Some of those baptised in the mud attempted to get a shower but were turned away, for being too dirty.

I totally agree with the volunteers running the showers, the last thing you want is someone covering a communal shower in mud so that the person after them gets out dirtier than they went in.

However, it got me thinking.

Jesus often got himself in trouble for offering hope to those who were too sinful to have hope.

He made friends with those so far removed that they had no chance to bring themselves back.

He was followed by those who were too dirty to shower.

I wonder, who are those who are too dirty in today’s society? Who are the tax collectors of the day?

Who do we, who claim to follow Jesus,  need to offer hope to?



Today, I used a philips screwdriver to unscrew a table leg.

I then removed the table leg.

Then I used a lot of bleach to clean out the gunk inside the table leg which had led to the awful smell.

This was a bad thing.

I don’t want to talk about it any more.

I don’t believe in your God

When I was eighteen I got my first tattoo and during that year I was told I needed to repent for having a tattoo. Consider, that year was my gap year, working alongside a church, doing Christian outreach and youth work and that the tattoo was of a cross. At eighteen, I happily identified as a Christian and the tattoo was a significant part of my spiritual journey. In the same way that when I was ten I was baptised as a public demonstration of my commitment to follow Jesus, the tattoo was a public sign of that continued commitment, at the beginning of what I knew was going to be a pretty demanding and challenging year.

Nowadays, I am less comfortable with identifying myself as a Christian, not because I am no longer committed to following Jesus but because of the negative connotations associated with the word. Being a Christian is the same as being homophobic and judgemental and often, quite horrible.

So, I often don’t say I’m a Christian because the God I believe in is very often not the God the vocal TV-Christians believe in.

I do not believe in a God who would condemn me for having a tattoo, or would condemn women who have abortions or people who find that they are attracted to people of their own gender. Sure, in the old testament there are loads of rules and regulations, loads of judgements and consequences but as you read through the narrative of the bible, those things don’t work. People fail. So God decides, to once and for all, sort it out through the incarnation. People mess things up and can’t follow the rules long enough to fix it so God fixed it. He did it all, on the cross, it’s done. There is nothing else that needs to be done. People are not saved by following the rules. They are just saved.

And so, no, I do not believe in your God of hate and judgements. I will never believe in him and if it turns out he is the only true God, I will never worship him. I will not honour that God.

Let the games continue..

I am so glad that the Olympic games have begun.

Since they have begun the news has been completely empty of any stories about crime or wars or deaths or missing pets. Even the weather forecasts have been positive!

Obviously, during the Olympics people don’t commit crimes, or die, or go missing. Even all that unrest over in the middle east seems to have chilled out for a couple of weeks of sport watching.

I, for one, applaud this. Obviously, the world needs more sport. Therefore, there should be more Olympics, possibly all the time.