I come from a denomination where lent is not really a big thing. I gave up chocolate once when I was younger and went to a church of England school and since then I’ve found the whole thing pretty hypocritical. Doing lent is a bit of a bragging right… ‘look at me, I haven’t touched chocolate for 40 days!’ really? and do you feel closer to God due to your lack of chocolate? Have you been using your normal chocolate eating time with God?
Maybe people do and I’m being too judgemental. I’ve hung out with a lot of lent’ers and it seems like the normal chocolate eating time is turned into the ‘thinking about the chocolate i’m not eating’ time. I’m sure there are lots of people who do use this time of year to build on their relationship with God, who give up chocolate and find God. Who knows?
This year I am doing two very different lent devotions. A tradition lent reading from Youversion and a very non-traditional devotional: Atheism for Lent.
The other day I was reading about the need for dependence on God. To search for him in times of troubles. To cry out and to know that he will always be there for you. This was read alongside the idea that people see God as a glorified father, someone who will always be there for you, someone you can always depend on. It was almost perfect syncing!
I think that a lot of people worship a god that they have created. A god in their own image. A god who likes what they like and hates what they hate. A god who they can use to reinforce the inequalities in their world.
So during this lent time I am eating a lot more chocolate (to make up for all those people who aren’t eating it) and I guess I’m trying to see where God becomes me and where I’ve become god.
My last post was over two months ago and was entitled ‘The End Times’…I realise that I may have scared everyone by making them believe only I had been raptured or that the aliens had returned, seen my blog and taken me to start an all new type of pop band on their home planet. However, none of those things happened.
What actually happened is that I got a new job. I got the job pretty much the same time as my last post and then waited over Christmas until midway through January for all my security checks to be completed. ‘Cause if you work with kids you can expect 1 month – 6 weeks of checks…yay!
So now, I’m in my new job and I am enjoying it.
Today, I had to go around to see one of my colleagues at her home in order to show her how to disable pop-ups so that she could access the online training. The other day I had to explain how to copy and paste a group of files and the explanation ‘draw a box around them and drag them into the other file’ was received by a blank stare. I am the only one who can understand that the password for some of the online training is ‘password’ and it seems like I am the only one who thought that printing out the online diary was a better system than copying the information from the online diary into a paper diary. Sometimes, it honestly makes me wonder how people cope with life if they can’t do these things online. The other day someone called me a ‘genius’ and really didn’t understand why I didn’t think I was doing anything special.
I guess that sometimes things that really just click in my head don’t make as much sense to other people and it’s not just a matter of explaining the how to do it, it is about changing their whole outlook on the world.
I suppose it is like when trying to explain what I believe to other people. It isn’t just about explaining the list of beliefs, it isn’t just about saying ‘I believe this…’. It’s about the why I feel the need to believe that.. why I feel as if I need to believe at all.