If Now Was Then

Today I listened to the album which was at number 12 in the UK albums chart when I listened to it. ‘Don’t Forget Me’ is the third album by Maggie Rogers and I listened to her second album here.

I didn’t really discuss the music of the last album because I went off on a tangent about women writing songs or being asked to perform songs about men and relationships.

If you’d asked me before the whole Beyonce country album nonsense, I would have said this is what country music sounded like but country is not one of the genres of music Wikipedia lists when it describes her.

I clearly don’t know what country music is but this album sounds more like Dolly Parton than Beyonce.

I did enjoy this album and I listened to it twice but I don’t remember any of the songs from it and I’m not sure I’d recognise any of them if I heard them again.

Just for Fun

Being from the Black Country, I was super excited to hear that Beyonce was making a Black Country album.

I was looking forward to Beyonce’s take on the pig on the wall and of the mines and of the fish and chips shop.

Imagine my disappointment to hear that the current number 1 album ‘Cowboy Carter’ is not a Black Country album…. it’s a Black country album… and by country, Beyonce means American country music.

There’s not enough Black Country music you know…I’m going to talk to the Black Country Museum about hosting more Black Country folk music nights.

Anyways, I’m not sure Beyonce has ever been to the Black Country but on this album she claims to be from the American ‘country’ area…I mean, she is from Texas, so she’s probably not lying.

And Americans are so weird about where they’re from… they all love being a something-American which is almost acknowledging that they’re all immigrants to America but then they treat Native Americans as if they’re the problem. American racial politics is so confusing.

I’ve listened to Beyonce before on this album both here and here and here as a solo artist and I’ve listened to some Destiny’s Child here and here.

I’ve never been particularly pro- Beyonce. I’ve found her music repetitive and dull. I’ve understood that James Acaster loved her 2016 album but I’ve found all of her stuff to be uninspiring.

And I don’t know what a country album is meant to sound like but if I hadn’t read all the hype about it I’m not sure if I’d have classified this as a country album.

More importantly, I don’t like it. The additional lyrics to Jolene do not add anything to Jolene…in fact, they remove some of the genius of Jolene.

I worry about the song ‘Allegator Tears’ lets consider the lyrics… ‘You say move a mountain and I’ll throw on my boots. You say stop the river from runnin’ I’ll build a dam or two. You say change religions. Now, I spend Sundays with you. Somethin’ ’bout those tears of yours. How does it feel to be adored?’ 

That is a terrible chorus to any song. I’m sorry, anyone who convinces you to change religions? To change a river from running? That’s a gaslight situation. You shouldn’t change yourself because of any relationship.

Is that why Beyonce…. Queen B…is going by her husband’s last name now?

Church Girl

So it turns out that out of the top 20 there are 5 albums I haven’t listened to. (Well, there are 20 albums. Out of those 20, there are 7 that I won’t listen to because they’re Ed Sheeran or Greatest Hits albums…so really, Out of 13, I’ve listened to 8). (Also, I recently listened to Ed Sheeran when he was on The Off-Menu Podcast and he was hilarious! It’s a shame I can’t stand most of his music).

Anyways, I listened to Beyonce in 2001 and in 2011 but for some reason, I didn’t listen to her 2022 album ‘Renaissance’.

So today, I had to listen to this! I did not enjoy this album. I don’t understand why people liked it.

Most of the lyrics are repetitive and appear to just be so Beyonce can riff on the words. Look at me! I can sing it high, low, high-low!

I really prefer music when it’s not about sex. Or maybe when it’s about more than sex. Do you not have anything else going on in your life, Beyonce? Raye is singing about body dysmorphia! Beyonce! Get some meaning in your life!

One Long Song

Today I was back in 2001 listening to the album ‘Light of Day, Day of Darkness’ by Green Carnation. I say, album, it’s just 1 one-hour long track.

Last year, I liked it but had issues with its long one-songness.

This year, I still like it…but I don’t love it.

It’s another one of those listen to it once but it’s unlikely to change your life.

I also listened to some people discuss how Beyonce had changed their life – they mainly focussed on the good songs from the 2001 album. ‘I won’t compromise my Christianity’ was discussed and yet, no comment on the sexy daddy song from the same album. Many comments about the 2016 album so well done, James Acaster. And a few comments on this current album, mainly about the track ‘Church Girl’.

Truthfully, I don’t have to name the singles from the 2001 album…everyone knows them…. you know where the lyric ‘I won’t compromise my Christianity’ comes from. You know ‘I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly’. You know ‘when no one is around you’. You know ‘Who runs the world’.

I stand by the me of yesterday, this new Beyonce album is meh. And unlike, the podcast members discussing her, should I doubt God, I will not remind myself that Beyonce exists. That absolutely will not help!

Milkshake

Today I listened to the current number 1 album in the UK Charts – Beyonce’s Renaissance.

Two of the tracks on this album were amended post-release – one which used an insulting word for a disabled person, the other one which sampled the Kelis’ track Milkshake.

The information about Milkshake was new to me. Apparently, Kelis is not credited as a writer for it and receives no royalties for it. It’s like the whole Taylor Swift or Kesha stuff. I think it’s probably pretty important that the music industry fixes things for female artists to be credited for their music. But then, artist rights for women are probably lower on the list than reproductive rights. To be honest, there are so many ways that rights for women are in a pretty bad place at the moment.

Does Beyonce’s Renaissance help? I mean, she is cosplaying Lady Godiva on the album cover. A woman who rode naked through Coventry to ensure lower taxes for the people of Coventry. (This is my interpretation of her album cover. I doubt it is hers)

However, unfortunately, she has stated that she has seen the injustice of the last few years and thinks we’re ready for an escape from it. She provides this album to escape from the injustice. Not to get rid of it, not to fight it, just to escape it.

I didn’t find any of the songs exciting, I didn’t find any of them singalongable and I didn’t find any of them that led me to the fight.

Like the Beyonce of 2001 and 2011, I remain unimpressed by 2022 Beyonce.

I’m sorry, James Acaster, the Beyonce of 2016 has not been found in any of my musical years. Perhaps, you were right, 2016 was the best year for Beyonce.

Die Young

2001 gave me Destiny’s child…. 2011 gave me Beyonce.

2001 was a bad year for Beyonce music. Both the actual album and the Christmas album were bad.

4 is a better album. It’s not awesome but at least I absolutely don’t hate it.

It includes the songs ‘Love on Top’ and ‘Run the World (girls)’. Both of which are ok-ish songs. I’m not going to diss Beyonce for the lyrics of ‘Run the World’. No, that’s easy. I’m here to diss her because of ‘Rather Die Young’.

‘I’d rather give up everything than. to live my, live my life without you.’

Beyonce, what were you thinking? Is this any way to live your life? To be so completely wrapped up in a guy that without him you’d want to die? No, this is like the Nsync song all over again! It’s legit Selfish.

I’m not going to try to say something new…I’m just going to repeat what I said ‘Back in my teenage years…and in many romance songs, it appears romantic to suggest that you would die without the love of your life…to suggest that you don’t want to live without them. However, threatening suicide or attempting suicide is the 5th stage in domestic abuse relationships which end in the victim being murdered.’

Beyonce, you recreated a song that was terrible 10 years before you released it.

Apologies

Firstly, today I re-listened to Rock Steady by No Doubt. That is a sing-along album right there.

Secondly, Rihanna had 2 other albums in the top 100 albums of 2011 list – she didn’t release them all in 2011 so she hasn’t equalled my albums in one year count – I released 3 albums in one year. She just had 3 albums on the top 100 list of the same year, a much lesser achievement.

Thirdly, Beyonce from Destiny’s Child had an album in 2011 and I claimed that there was no more Destiny’s Child music for me to listen to.

All three of these albums are lower down on the list so, unlike Adele, who will have no listens this year no matter how many albums feature on any lists, Rihanna will get at least one other day and a third of Destiny’s Child will get a listen as well.

I am almost certain there is no Gwen or No Doubt in either 2011 or 2022 (so far). However, I’ll be happy to be proved wrong because I enjoy No Doubt.